Does moral behavior matter?

This is the question that I have been pondering in recent months. Although many questions that I pound at eventually lead to an answer of sorts, this one doesn’t.

Every person born to the physical plane does so with differing levels of development (I want to avoid the term “spiritual development”) and differing genetic and environment influences and stressors. They view reality through different templates and self-evaluate their behavior by different measures. Most people would probably give themselves a grade of passing, a C+ maybe, though objectively, their behaviors would be vastly different. A criminal might claim the extenuating circumstances of a bad childhood and life of poverty, while a conventionally religious person might fault himself for not attending church services, but might otherwise be circumspect.

Near-death accounts are ambiguous. Some experiencers are chastised for poor behavior, while others are excused and told that no guilt is assessed in the afterlife. Michael Newton and other researchers state that evaluating actions in life is a complicated process that hinges on fidelity to individual life plans and “intent.”  Frequently, near-death experiencers mention that “intent” is important. The recent suicide of an old friend caused me many hours of worrying about where he might end up in the afterlife. He had had a difficult life, and while he made mistakes as a youth, he had turned himself around and tried to live a virtuous life. He also suffered from mental illness and took several medications for it. I had one post-death dream of him; the dream seemed to come from far away, a dream memory of a deeper dream, in which he was telling me happily that he had won a “blue ribbon” for a recent project. (I never use the term “blue ribbon” or have ever dreamed it. It’s not a personal symbol.)  On the other hand, an old director nemesis of mine who treated me and others cruelly and had affairs with subordinates, appeared in several of my dreams after his death, one in which he explained why he did what he did. (I rejected his explanation and often imagined him landing in hell.)  So two men, of different backgrounds and behaviors, with complex histories, seemed to have turned out “okay” in the afterlife.

Fortunately, I am not their judge—I would be lenient on one and harsh on the other. I also acknowledge that some people would judge me harshly. Many near-death experiencers are told to avoid judging others based on internal moral compasses. This does not mean that there are no measurements—just that our concepts of good and bad behavior are limited. My youth was spent in a fundamentalist Christian church, and though I left the church decades ago, I can’t purge myself of the belief that there will be a Biblical rendering of accounts after death—a belief that seems to be reinforced by some near-death accounts that show exactly that. So, despite a lifetime pondering this question, I still can’t find the answer to it. I have some half-formed theories, but can find no absolutes. Like many others, my conditioning makes me want to condemn others, but my sincere hope is that I will personally be granted mercy.